Chapter Four – Fall

Three years ago

Evan sat in the quiet darkness of his own bedroom with cold eyes. His thoughts were somewhere else, as he watched Amanda’s body on the bed.

He didn’t even know, how he went home. In one moment, he stood helplessly in the alley, but in the next moment he was at the door of his apartment. He couldn’t recall a single minute of his way home. His legs moved themselves, like something pulled him there.

He held the ring in his left fist, and tried to think calmly. Everything was too much and came too suddenly. He tried to think about his own memories one by one about Amanda. As they met. That winning smile on her face, what he didn’t understand back then. Their first date in the restaurant, when he told her everything she wanted to hear, like he was hypnotized. As she disappeared once or twice a month. As she never wanted to move in together, although she said yes to him. As he told her every single detail about the murders everytime. Everything. Because he trusted her. Because he loved her.

An agonizing picture appeared in his mind, but he couldn’t accept it. How could it be? It’s probably just a coincidence. That ring could belong to someone else. It’s not so unique. But what if it is really hers? The ring could get there other ways too. But why would she lie about it?

As the sun crawled up the sky, Amanda started waking up. She brushed Evan’s place on the bed, and when she didn’t find him there, she sat up. Amanda immediately noticed him in the armchair, as he stared at her.

„Good morning!” she smiled at him, then looked at the clock. „How long have you been up?”

„I didn’t sleep” Evan replied gloomily, as he watched Amanda’s smoothed face. She was even more beautiful with her disheveled hair and this recognition hit him hard. It can’t be…

„Do you think about those murders?” Amanda asked softly, as she got out of the bed. „I’m sure that you’re going to catch him.”

„Really? Are you sure about that?” Evan asked back, and walked to the woman. He was so close, that he could smell her sweet fragrance. Amanda’s eyes flickered as he looked back at his dedicated eyes. Then Evan raised his left hand, and spread his fingers. „I have found your ring.”

Amanda looked down at his hands. The blood-stained diamond ring sparkled in the light of the rising sun. She looked back at Evan’s face, and took the ring away. Amanda slowly pulled it on her finger, then bent to Evan’s ear.

„Thank you” she whispered, and turned away, heading to the bathroom.

 „It is you, right?” Evan asked suddenly and Amanda stopped. She stood motionless for a couple of moments, then turned around and looked at him. She stared at him blankly for a brief moment, then slowly a cruel smile spread on her face.

 „Prove it!”

Nowadays

 „Good morning, Detective Monroe!” Amanda said, as Evan slowly regained consciousness. He didn’t know where he was for a couple of seconds as he floated between dream and reality. Then slowly all of his memories came back. He followed her and got knocked out.

He wasn’t able to open his eyes immediately because of the sharp neon lights of the dirty lamps. He just sat there and he felt that the rope rubbed his skin on his arms. When he could open his eyes, he looked around cautiously.

He was in a warehouse. That abandoned, dirty, full of old wood boxes and containers kind of warehouse, he saw often during his work. Murderers choose this location all the time.

Amanda sat on a top of a wooden chest with pulled up legs, and looked at him. There was no emotion on her face. She just waited there silently.

„Where are we?” Evan asked with parched lips, while he tried to escape from the tight rope which strongly held both of his arms.

 „In the warehouse of the old paint factory ten kilometres away from the city” Amanda replied, and she kept his eyes on the man in front of her. „You know, a couple of years ago, I had to deal with a man who was so much stronger than you, but even he couldn’t break free from that knot, so it’s really unnecessary to try.”

Evan knew that she was right. Whatever he tried to do would be a fail. They were in an abandoned warehouse far away from the city.

 „Did you kill that man a few days ago?” he muttered, but Amanda just shrugged.

„You are already sure about that I did it, so even if I said no, you wouldn’t believe me.”

„So you didn’t do it?”

„I didn’t say that” Amanda shook her head with a smile. „Honestly, Evan. Does is matter?”

Evan knew that she was right. It didn’t matter anymore. He knew what is going to happen, so it didn’t really matter if Amanda killed again or not. He knew what will be the next step. Because from that moment when he realized that the murderer was Amanda, he knew that she will be the one, who will kill him one day.

„Kill me then!” Evan said, and Amanda’s laugh sharply pierced the silence of the warehouse.

 „I don’t want to kill you, Evan” she shook her head, and Evan raised up his eyebrows. He didn’t understand what else could she want, if not to take revenge on him the last three years.

„Then what do you want?”

„To talk” Amanda replied with a faint smile.

„Talk about what?”

„It doesn’t matter” she shrugged. „About the weather, the economic situation, what you ate today, or about that I sat in prison for three years because of you… See, it doesn’t matter” Amanda said softly, then pulled out a gun and put it beside her.

Evan stared the barrel of the gun for a few moments, then looked at Amanda’s brown eyes.

„You said you don’t want to kill me.”

„I do a lot of things even if I don’t want to do it… You know, we didn’t see each other for two years, except these last days.”

„Did you miss me?”

Amanda jumped off from the box, and walked to Evan. He felt her sweet smell again, what he couldn’t forget.

„I thought about you a lot” she whispered into his ears. „When they took me to interrogation again and again. Or when I stared at the grey ceiling of my cell at nights. Or when I found out how many people hate me just because of your words. Or when I realized that you managed to keep me in prison again? It’s so good that you have so many influental friends.”

„What did you expect?” Evan asked and turned his face to her. She was so close, that he could count all of the tiny, almost invisible freckles of her. „That I will let you continue?”

Amanda smiled at him, then began to pace.

„Tell me something!” she said. „Which hurt you more? When you found out that I am not who you thought I am, or when you realizedthat you are the world’s dumbest cop because you didn’t find out it sooner?”

„Why would the first hurt me?”

„Because we both know, that you loved me more than I loved you” she turned to him. „Right?”

 „Did you even love me?” Evan asked quietly, but he already knew the answer. But while he sat in that warehouse, a tiny part of his heart longed for love. Amanda’s love.

„Love… Only fools love, Evan” she replied. „How do I know? Look at yourself! You are sitting here tied up because of obvious reasons, and you still wonder about if I loved you. This is pathetic.”

„How could you pretend for a year that you are normal?”

 „Maybe I am crazy” she nodded. „But who is crazier? The person who is crazy, or the person who is able to fall in love with one?”

„When I fell for you I had no idea that you are a psychopathic serial killer” Evan snapped out, and Amanda’s face contorted. He stepped in front of him, and bent closer. She stared at his eyes, and clenched her hands. Her nails dug into her palms.

It happened so fast. Her eyes wandered to Evan’s lips and suddenly kissed him.

Evan’s heart skipped a beat as he felt her lips on his mouth. It was sweet and soft and perfect. Like their first kiss. Or the second one. Or the hundredth. As he sat there with tied up hands while he kissed Amanda, he forgot everything for a moment. He forgave everything. And he hated himself for it.

When Amanda finally stopped, Evan’s heart was still popping. He longed for her kiss, her touch. He longed for her, but in the meantime, he wanted these feelings to stop.

„You know exactly who I am… And you still can’t stop loving me. So who is the crazy now?” she whispered as she pulled away. She walked back to the wooden box, and sat on the top of it. „It hurts, doesn’t it?”

 „What?”

„That you want to do something you know is not right… It hurted me. To hide those desires for years, even from myself. To deny them. You can’t do anything against them, I know.”

„What are you talking about?”

 „You want me just as much as I want to kill”

„You and I are nothing alike” Evan shook his head.

„You think?” she tilted her head. „You want me to live. With you. And you know that this is the worst thing you can do. I want to kill, while I know it’s wrong, but still… We desire the dark things what other people would disapprove. You want me, and I crave to kill you…”

 „And what will happen after you kill me? What’s next? What do you think, who will they blame, huh?”

„It’s so sweet that you worry about me, Evan. But I can assure you that my life and my future will be fine. Nobody will suspect me. Because you have killed yourself…”

„What?”

„Don’t worry, I will organize a death for you that everyone will mourn” she replied as she stared at his eyes. „Poor, sad, detective Monroe, who spent the last three years trying to put someone in jail but he failed all the time. Even after she got released, he harassed her without any proof. Even his friends turned against him. No wonder that the he drank too much and fell down from that bridge… What a tragedy…”

„You are sick…”

 „Perhaps” she shrugged, as she took the gun in her hand. „Maybe it would be easier to shoot you. Then I would tell everyone, that you kidnapped me. After you wasn’t able to keep me behind bars. You locked me here and wanted to kill me. It was just my luck that I could grab the gun, but everything went wrong and you forced me to shoot you… You know, Evan, this is really sad. Everything could happen otherwise. Everything could be so much better, but you… You are so stubborn. Why didn’t you let it be otherwise?”

 „And if I would?” Evan asked quietly, but he didn’t mean it. He knew that if he wanted to survive, he had to do what Amanda wants. He had to unleash his secret desires. „What if I would do it? If I would be with you?”

Amanda stared at his face. It was sad and desperate at the same time. Just like back than, when he searched for her while she was with him. She saw despair in his eyes, what he tried to hide.

 „Are you really that coward, Evan?” Amanda said finally. „You are too coward to be with me and too coward to die. What is the point of your life at all? Perhaps you were someone long ago, but nothing has left of you just a coward who can’t undertake his feelings… Maybe I should kill myself… And you would stay here without me. With your desires and doubts and a big ’what if’. You would be alone and lonely. You would live without your life and one day you would die as a coward and you would know that you lived a life, but you not really lived at all” she said. „You would know that you were unable to catch me. Every depressing day would just remind you that you are unsuitable for what you are doing. And you would think about me every single day, because you can’t get me out of your mind, no matter how hard you try. On every day of your miserable life you would realize that I won.”

Evan began to despair, as he listened to her words. But not because it came clear that only one of them will leave this place alive. But because he realized that Amanda was right. He wouldn’t forget her. He would tear himself until the end of his life, until he die as an embittered coward. If he wouldn’t kill himself before that…

 „So what’s now, Evan?” Amanda asked, as she got up, and walked in front of Evan. She held the gun and her finger was on the trigger. „Should I kill you, so I will live happily because you are dead, or should I kill myself, so you will suffer until the end of your life?”

Evan looked up at Amanda’s face. He saw her pondering about her options. But he knew, no matter how she will decide, he lost.

 „I wish everything could happen differently…” Amanda said, then raised her hand and without any more thinking, she pulled the trigger…

The end

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Chapter Four – Fall” bejegyzéshez ozzászólás

  1. Viaud Anne-lorraine szerint:

    Ohhh, we don’t know who die ! What a twist but I understand why you did that. It’s often difficult to write a story without being really optimistic : the bad guy dies or pessimistic, the evil wons. Though choice but you succeed to avoid this. Well done !
    I have a question, not related to your story, what is the language in your banner ?

    • Sookie szerint:

      This is really a difficult choice, and I thought it would be the best, if I gave the opportunity to the readers to choose, and I am glad you like the end of the story. 🙂
      And the language in our banner is hungarian, our native language. 🙂

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